How can I relate my last few months? Recently, the past, present and future have been muddied by Forces that make Merlin tremble in his wake. It's easier if you just watch this. Should explain e'rrything.
Just wanted to share this letter that a colleague of mine dispatched to Mr. Stephen Colbert, of the Colbert Report. Yeah. Maybe I'll resume my conversation with you none, after all. Umm, I. Love. You? I love you, Robots. Tha's it.
Dear Webmaster,
Please see to it that Mr. Colbert receives word of this correspondence.
Thank you.
Mr. Colbert,
Firstly, I would like to tell you how much of an honor it is for me to address these words to you. I would surely stand between you and a bear, risking forfeiture of my existence, so that you may run, and run swiftly.
I am a twenty-two year old heterosexual male, and I watch the Report every night, Monday through Thursday. I get sad when I see a rerun scheduled on my digital channel guide, so benevolently provided to me by my friendly local media conglomerate. You are a beacon of Freedom; the Death Star tractor beam of Liberty. Clearly, Nicholson was wrong when he proclaimed "You can't handle the truth!" Damn it, I handle it every night at 11:30 EST.
Much to my dismay, I have not found any naturalization information regarding citizenship in the Nation. I would doubtless be an indispensable asset to the Nation, one who comprehends our Nation's greatness, but knows enough to abide the whims of Conventional Wisdom. Humbly, I request whatever information available pertaining the matter of naturalization.
May God bless you, and Richard Nixon, Ronald Regan, George H.W & W. Bush.
Redoubtably,
Panther Jenkins
Freedomville, Tennessee
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